Saturday, November 6, 2010

That's not that bad daddy!!

"That's not that bad daddy!!" -- It's amazing how the words of a 6 year old can change things so quickly. I know the news that I received this past Thursday is not really that bad, and to some it may even be welcomed news, even my Doctor said if he was on dialysis it is what he would do. So what is this devastating news?? What is the news that is so shocking to me and seem to turn my world upside down?? I was told that the Peritoneal dialysis I am on is not working and that I will have to switch to Hemo dialysis.

Having a tube hang out of my stomach was an adjustment and now I will just have to adjust to having a fistula in my arm. The difference is when I had my next transplant, the tube would come out but the fistula will remain in my arm for the rest of my life. I know it is a pretty petty thought for what I have to go through, but for some reason it is really difficult for me and I am having a difficult time with it - after all it is my body and I will have to live with the constant reminder for the rest of my life.

It all comes down to perspective. I have to make some changes in my routine, but with those changes some really good things come!! My bedroom will not really look like a hospital room any more. I will be able to lie on my stomach the little things that I have missed will be returned to me.

I always seem to get a dose of reality every time I think things are tough for me. After I had my Dr. appointment on Thursday it took a little time, but I came to terms of the changes that are coming my way. A day later, I learned that a high school classmate of mine was just recently diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma. So for me to have to change the type of dialysis I am on and have to live with the fistula for the rest of my life, when I put it into perspective, things are not even close to what others have to go through.

Thoughts and prayers go out to you Joe and your family.