Saturday, May 29, 2010

My Big Fat Feet

Vanity has gotten the better of me. I surprisingly have adjusted to just about everything, everything but the way my feet look when I am retaining water. Probably more noticeable are my ankles which swell to a size bigger than grapefruit.

I really thought that I would be caught up in the tubing protruding from my stomach. I thought that would be the 1 and only thing I would have to overcome with this process, but when I look down and see my feet, it really bothers me. Actually I have adapted to the tubing pretty well and I really only notice that when I am doing an exchange.

I do have great news and that is I was approved to do nighttime dialysis. This means that I will be able to hook up to a machine at night and have dialysis while I am sleeping. By having this done, I will not have to do exchanges during the day, which means I can get back to a little more normal of a life instead of being hooked up to an IV pole 4 times a day!!!!

I know I will adjust to the whole swollen feet thing in time, and within a few weeks my life will be a little more normal until my transplant. I am thankful I am able to hold onto the little things and small victories as they come my way!!!

Monday, May 17, 2010

The Clock is ticking...

Not only is the clock ticking for me while I am on the transplant list, there is another clock... the clock of Medicare. Although I am eligible now to go on Medicare, after I have been on dialysis for 30 months, I am forced to take Medicare as my primary health insurance.

I think that it is great that there are systems in place to help people with the high cost of health care, I have a difficult time understanding why I have to take Medicare when I already have health insurance. The good news is I still get to keep my current health care, but it will drop to my secondary coverage.

The upside that I see is that I will have more coverage, not yet understanding what it is, or how the coverage will affect me. From what I understand, for the cost of of dialysis it is wonderful. As far as what else it covers, I am not sure, I hope it is also wonderful.

The downside is that when I am forced into the Medicare coverage, I am also forced into paying the premium for the coverage, so I will have the joy of paying for two health insurance coverages. I could drop my current coverage, but then my family will go without health insurance, since I am the only one eligible for the Medicare coverage.

Like I said, I am glad that there are systems in place to help with the high cost of health care, but to be forced into a program that I do not want is something I do not agree with. In my opinion, the coverage should be for people who are not on a company plan and would be declined if they applied for an individual plan.

Monday, May 3, 2010

That Feeling

I was standing at the deli counter at the grocery store when all of a sudden that feeling came over me. I had only had that feeling one other time, but it was at home and things are different when you don't have the security of being home. I took my sweatshirt off and tried the best I could to shrug it off since I was still in the beginning phase of grocery shopping. I received everything I requested and at that time knew I was not going to be able to finish the rest of the shopping.

I was standing there with the cart having the produce and deli items checked off my list with a bunch of stuff yet to purchase and with Tucker looking at me as innocently as possible when I had no idea what to do. I knew I had to do something and somewhat quickly or I was going to fall over. The rush of heat over me and light headedness, I had to sit down. I surveyed the area and could not see a chair any where in sight, if only I had turned around I would have seen a whole area of tables and chairs, after all I was in the deli area where some people go in to eat. This soon to be embarrassing situation could have been avoided.

After what seemed like forever, I decided to go over out of the way and just sit on the floor. I looked up at Tuck and he was just sitting there, smiling and hanging out. It was not long when a manager who was taking inventory had come over to me and asked if I was OK and asked if I would like some water, I accepted and another lady had come over to comfort Tuck and stay with me while the manager went to get the water.

After a couple of minutes, I was feeling better and the manager had offered a rushed check-out and have someone help me get to my car. I was feeling better as I started walking to the register and the manager had said, "I'm Terri a manager here". I thanked her for everything while we were walking and told her my name and explained my situation. I got to the register and checked out and made my way home.

When I got home, I was feeling a lot better, but still had the need to lie down. On the way home, Tuck had fallen asleep, and I could only feel for the little guy. Here we were on a Saturday outing and the next thing he knew, I was sitting on the floor and he had strangers talking to him. It is one thing for me to have to go through this, and for me and my family to make sacrifices, but that was a little too much for me.

I guess it is just another thing to add to my list of limitations. I know it is not a big thing, but the opportunity to take a solo trip out with one of the kids is something that is fun and exciting and what parent does not like to hang out with their kids one on one? I understand this is not a forever thing, just temporary, but I am looking forward to becoming normal again.